I am 30 weeks and 5 days pregnant. That means only 9 and a bit weeks to wait, if the baby comes on time, but I think baby will be late. A lot has happened but I am going to tell you about something that happened awhile ago.
So if you've ever been pregnant you know that you get a second ultrasound at about 20 weeks. This is the anatomy scan where they make sure your baby has all its organs and parts. It's also the scan where they can find out the sex of your child. They don't tell you though, your midwife or doctor tells you later.
So on the day of this ultrasound we had a resident doctor start our ultrasound. He was learning how to do them with a tech as his teacher, and he was pretty bad at it. He couldn't find things and took forever. I feel okay about how bad he was at it because I don't think doctors even usually do ultrasounds. Which is good because as previously stated he was crap. Then the technician took over. She was fast and good. Honestly, to me none of it looked much like a person anyway, more like a Rorschach test. At the end they print you pictures, pictures like the below pictured adorable profile shot.
Or, a cute closeup on a lil' baby foot.
Or, a horrific cross section of your babies face. Which the ultrasound technician thought was cool because you can see the iris. It is also cool because our baby looks exactly like Skeletor in it. Seriously, what parent wants an image of the inside of their baby's face?
Click through to see a comparison to actual Skeletor: uncanny.
So we finish our ultrasound and 20 minutes later we get a call saying we'll need to do another one in a couple weeks because they didn't get a clear picture of all the chambers of the heart. I freak out that our baby doesn't have enough heart chambers and Ana isn't worried at all. Ana is calm as a cucumber and not at all worried about Skeletor's potential congenital heart defect.
I try to calm myself by rationalizing our next ultrasound is scheduled for two weeks in the future. Surely if they though it was bad they would want us in sooner right? We have a midwife appointment the same day as our next ultrasound so we put off calling to find out the sex of our baby. We can just find out at the appointment.
We go in for the next ultrasound and again we have a student but this is an ultrasound tech student and she is much better than the doctor. They see the four chambers of the heart. This technician is funny compared to the last one. As she takes measurements of our baby she said things like, "This is baby's hat size," when she measured the head. She also said, "This is baby's belt size," when she measured baby's stomach, which is ludicrous because babies don't wear belts. All in all this ultrasound was more pleasant than the first. Both of the techs, the one in training and the one not in training, looked young enough that I could have been their babysitter and like they are new pledges for Delta Zeta but they were extremely competent and professional. Who doesn't like a capable and confident sorority sister?
Same day as the second ultrasound we have a midwife appointment. Right away we ask the sex of the baby. She's like, "You don't know?" And we didn't because we didn't call because of the whole second ultrasound business. I guess one particular midwife gets to do most of the calls about the sex of the baby because our midwife was beyond stoked she got to tell us. She asked if we wanted her to make it fun? We said no just tell us. Then she asked if she should write it down and put it in an envelope? We said just tell us. She then got us to guess before she told us. I kind of wish we had opted for the "making it fun" option. Maybe she would have hidden the sex somewhere in the office with scavenger hunt clues written in code or something. I am really good at scavenger hunts. Even on our way out of the appointment she was beaming and said, "I can't believe I got to tell you." This makes me wish they shared the job of sex revealing babies more equally around the Midwifery Group. It's clearly something they all like doing. Or she likes doing... a lot.
The sex of the baby is a secret by the way. It is however a very badly kept secret so if you ask enough people you will probably be able to find out. We just want to avoid the pink/blue tsunami of gendering that is baby clothes and stuff. We have this tiny denim jacket for 0-6 months. Seriously this is the cutest shit.
This jacket came with a tag that clearly stated it was a "Boy's Denim Jacket." Seriously? It is a completely gender neutral item of clothing to me. There is no special penis space allowance in this jacket? Ridiculous. So anyway, in an effort to not participate in the genderfest that is newborn paraphernalia the sex is a secret but I bet if you ask three people in Vancouver one of them will know.
So that was our ultrasound experience and now there will be no more ultrasounds. Most people only get two, so we already had an extra. In current news we have just hired a badass doula, and Ana has convinced me to eat my placenta but we'll get to that next time.