The Test

So about 8 weeks ago my friend was coming over for dinner.  He offered to bring wine and I was like, "No, don't bring wine because it's the part of the month when I can't drink it anyway."  Then when I got off the phone I realized it was far enough along in the month that I could take a pregnancy test and thereby potentially have wine (if the test was negative).  I peed on a stick.  I checked it after a minute and there was just the dreaded single line.  I was kind of bummed.  So I cried to Ana we were never going to get pregnant, and maybe I'm infertile, and this is so hard.  Then I composed myself - at least I can have wine tonight.

I went into the bathroom to throw out the test, and what do I see?

Is that a...?  Maybe?  But it's so faint?

Is that a...?  Maybe?  But it's so faint?

I see a second line.  Or maybe?  It's so faint but it's definitely more of a second line than I have ever seen before.  Fun fact about pregnancy tests: false positives aren't really a thing.  So if you have any line, no matter how faint, unless you drew it on yourself in Sharpie, you're most likely pregnant.  The way the test works is it looks for human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) hormone in your pee.  We'll be hearing more about this lovely little hormone in future blog entries.  Your body only makes it when you're pregnant, so if the test is picking it up at all, you're pregnant.  There are a couple of exceptions, like some women undergoing IVF and other fertility related treatments might test positive even if they're not pregnant, but in general it means you're pregnant.  So no wine for me.

I am not someone who ever felt good about barely passing a test.  I am an over achiever so over the next three weeks I did a lot more tests.

Not all tests done are pictured above.

Not all tests done are pictured above.

I actually did five tests in all but one was a digital test: very satisfying because it simply says "yes" or "no", none of this faint pink line BS.  It's pass fail and I got a yes/pass.  The battery in that test has since died though and the blank screen was not worth including.  See that bottom test?  It has a darker pregnancy line than test line.  That means I had so much hCG in my pee it used up more of the ink than the test line did.  This felt like a big win for me; when I got that result I stopped testing.  In all honesty if we count all the pregnancy tests and ovulation tests I have done, since we started this process, I am pretty sure we've spent over $300 for me to pee on sticks. 

So I'm pregnant but now what?  Thing is about being pregnant is you don't get to tell people for a long time.  So you wait and you wait.  You go to appointments, ultrasounds, you dry heave like it's going out of style (which it should be, dry heaving should never be stylish).  Friends ask how the process is going, they tell you how much they love your blog, and send you fan art. 

Tehya MacKenzie drew this.  She is a talented photographer, fashonista, and lovely human who lives in London.

Tehya MacKenzie drew this.  She is a talented photographer, fashonista, and lovely human who lives in London.

My friend Tehya sent me this a week after we found out.  I loved it so much and I wanted to tell her immediately I was knocked up but I didn't.  It's an egg and sperm.  In actuality those sperm are going to be disappointed because that egg is clearly already inhabited by a single quotation mark.  Seriously though, it's such a lovely image.

I am 11 weeks along so we're announcing even a little early, but I am not good at keeping secrets, and this one has been a chore.  Fun fact: when you're pregnant you get to count two whole weeks when you weren't pregnant to your week total (give or take depending on your cycle) .  They count from the first day of your last period.  This means that no one is ever two weeks pregnant because at two weeks pregnant you are not pregnant at all, no sperm has met no egg, and made no baby.  This felt really awesome at first because I was a whole month pregnant when I first found out.  It seems like less of a big deal now. 

Expect future blog posts to come fast and furious.  The dam has been opened.