The Ultrasound

This happened forever ago in pregnancy time.  Pregnancy time is like normal time but it passes much much slower.  I swear I have been pregnant for like a year and a half.  At week ten (six whole weeks ago) we had our first ultrasound. 

I have had one other ultrasound in my life, and I wasn't good at it.  It had nothing to do with pregnancy but it was in the same area.  They tell you to come with a full bladder and, since I am and overachiever, I had like six giant mason jars of water.  I had to pee so bad by the time they started the ultrasound I was crying from bladder pain.  So, then I had to go empty my bladder most of the way.  Then there wasn't enough water.  I could tell the technician was really disappointment in me/they probably didn't care at all.

That was my context going into the second ultrasound of my life.  So, while I did drink water, I didn't drink too much water.  The first thing they asked when I checked in at the clinic was if I had a full bladder and I was like, "Yeah, pretty full.  I'm not sure.  How full is full?"  She told me if it wasn't full enough the technician would let me know but I ran to the bathroom and drank a cup and a half more of water anyways.  I think I care too much about pleasing people.

I go in and Ana is with me but the technician asks her to wait outside for the beginning part.  I don't know why.  My guess is that sometimes it can take awhile to see baby and the partner freaks out? 

She starts the ultrasound, and sees the baby, and this stranger woman looses her shit talking about how cute the baby is.  She is more stoked on the baby than I am.  I am all like, "My baby isn't especially cute.  Don't they all look the same?"  She is like, "They all look the same but they all come out different.  They all grow into different people.  It's the miracle of life."  For real.  She said that.  That's how stoked she was and she must see hundreds of fetuses a week.  That woman is in the right line of work.  She explained what exactly she thought was so cute.  My baby was using its egg sac as a pillow.  The egg sac is what they use to eat before the placenta is grown.  Eventually it is completely absorbed by the baby, so by now my baby has lost its pillow.

The circle is not a second transparent head on our baby... phew.

The circle is not a second transparent head on our baby... phew.

So Ana came in and our technician exclaimed some more about the miracle of life.  Seriously, this woman should give talks in high schools about loving what you do.  We heard the heartbeat, a lot of women cry when they hear the heartbeat.  It was amazing.  I didn't cry.  I think that's okay.  I am not much of a crier.  Even in really sad movies I don't cry.  In Marley & Me I didn't cry.  This caused some people to call me heartless, but I mean the dog didn't really die.  It was an actor dog.  It was actually five different actor dogs.  Why would I cry because five dogs didn't die?  Anyway, I was excited, thrilled, fascinated, but I didn't cry when I saw and heard my baby.  I have decided this is no reflection on what kind of mother I will be.

So this was six weeks ago.  Now the baby is the size of a navel orange/avocado, depending which fruit scale you're using.  I see the baby again is a little over a month.  I am stoked for that.  My breasts are enormous (way bigger than an avocado on the fruit scale) and none of my pants fit which I am less stoked on.